MARRIAGE FINANCES HOW TO
The first investment you need to make in your marriage is learning how to communicate. When you learn how to address conflict in your relationship and communicate openly, you will begin to have honest talks about the budget. This can cause serious strain on what was once a romantic and affectionate marriage.īut there’s good news: Money isn’t the problem-it’s how you communicate about it. Unfortunately, your spouse (and your bank account) may not agree with you when it comes to the use of marital funds.įinancial miscommunication is a leading cause of conflict between spouses all across the country. Most individuals have a preconceived idea of how their finances should be managed. You can follow her on Twitter and on Facebook.No matter your financial situation, the expectation you had going into marriage probably isn’t your reality. Lynnette Khalfani-Cox, The Money Coach®, is a personal finance expert, a television and radio personality, and a regular contributor to AARP. His proof? Last year, his grandparents celebrated their 70th wedding anniversary. Ultimately, resolving these and other tricky money dilemmas is possible, Palmer says. It's important to make a list of priorities, itemizing the things a couple must have (like a home in a specific state, little to no mortgage and one guest bedroom) versus the things that are simply nice to have (such as a family room, pool or backyard for the grandchildren).įor those contemplating selling the family home and relocating to another city, it's smart to try out that new town for size first - perhaps by renting for a year - to see whether you really do like the area before buying a home. Reaching a workable solution often requires creativity, and a willingness to take a realistic look at the family budget. "A lot of creative things are being done that never would've been done in the old days, because having your house paid off before you retire is financial planning 101," says Scott Palmer, who with his wife wrote the book First Comes Love, Then Comes Money.Ĭoming to terms "causes tension for older couples because sometimes the home is one person's security, and for the other person it's an investment," Palmer says. One spouse may favor throwing traditional thinking out the window to refinance the house, pull out equity and buy a second place. She did it for 10 years, loved it, and the couple fared just fine, Palmer says. But the couple talked through it and ultimately the husband recognized that it was his wife's lifelong dream. Palmer cites an older couple she knows in which the wife, after turning age 50, told her husband that she wanted to become a flight attendant. But other questions, like pursuing a new job opportunity, need not be viewed as such a high-stakes proposition. The two of you need to be on the same page before making any big move that could be economically risky in the long-term. The best answer for this dilemma is to have a plan B and think through best- and worst-case scenarios and then decide whether both parties could live with the outcomes.įor example, if making a high-risk investment or pouring money into a speculative business venture is under consideration, you and your mate should contemplate how you would fare if you lost all your money. Such compromises inevitably breed resentment or fail to last, Long adds.
"A compromise means there's been a concession by one or both people, so you wind up saying: 'I don't like this, but I can live with it.' "
"An agreement means you discuss your options, pick what's best, and you both say 'Yes, this is acceptable to me,' " Long says.
"For one couple, it might be $50 and for another it might be $500."īut why an "agreement" and not a "compromise?" "Set the bar for a major purchase," she says. The way to end such arguments, Long says, is not by compromising, but by coming to an agreement over major purchases. "But it doesn't matter how old you are, everybody needs a little bit of autonomy with their money." Long, a Chicago-based money coach and member of the National CPA Financial Literacy Commission. "You might think that since they're older couples, especially if they've been together for a while, they would have figured it out," says Kelley C. According to the AICPA survey, the root of this discord is differing opinions on what constitutes spending on "needs" versus "wants." Fifty-eight percent of people who argue about money say that's the most common cause.
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